Precision In the Tearing Away

Your words
are biting
descriptive comments tossed carelessly
or perhaps precisely
their effect measured
in how quickly
my
self esteem was torn away.

Why?

A new friend had joked
about backhanded comments
that had made me laugh;
I think about
the things that you say
and I don't feel
the back of your hand -
more like the crushing blow
of your fist,
ferocious in verbal intensity
yet insidious in its power
over me.

I suppose if I told you more often
that your words of kindness
meant as much as they do,
then perhaps you would
realize that what
you say that wounds me
cuts thrice as deeply
as any mere flesh wound.

Would you think
twice
before
expounding your diatribe
concerning
my physical inadequacies
and how I have so far to go?

No. You would still call it love.
But I suppose that's what family is for.