Little Death

It was yet another night
Of angry sex,
They say that is always the best
And it was -
Yet I didn't want to taste you
For fear of tasting another
On your body -
For I knew I would;
You always seemed to
Forget to bathe
After you would cheat on me.

I could still smell her
Something light
Not just your musk
Or mine
A third party in the bed
I'm sure your fingers, too
Had the salty sea water scent
Of sweet 16
Peaches and cream
An innocence I could not
Compete with.

You were asleep
Afterwards
Your mouth, parted
Long dark hair, like mine, falling
Across your lips that
Had whispered
Apologies
And love
While I rode you,
Tears still in my eyes.

I watched you sleep for over an hour.
Do you know how close you came to
Death that night?

They say that
Hell
Hath no fury
Like one such as I,
And as my mind drifted,
I observed the rise
And fall
Of your chest
And wondered what
Would happen if
It would stop -
Your breathing -
As well as all the madness.

My eyes traveled to the gas heater
A nearly broken thing,
So easy
To blow out a pilot light
And turn up the gas,
Shutting the doors behind me
Doors that you had just sealed
To keep out the winter's cold.

I thought about killing you for over an hour.
Then, you stirred.

Your eyes, unseeing,
Opened slightly,
You grabbed my hand in your sleep
Pulling me down into the bed
To spoon, my eyes getting heavy
I couldn't smell her anymore
Only you,
Your sigh in sleep
Like a child
Sounded beautiful, precious,
And murderous thoughts melted into
Sadness,
And Love,
And the morning.