For Bryan

Not sure what hurts more
Saying goodbye to you
Or saying goodbye to sweet night comfort
Warm embrace, cool sheets
Like peaches, sweet taste
A lumberjack man-child
You're going now, gone for good
Off to roam the wild country
In a van made of dreams and vagabond expectations

When you step outside and see the stars at night in Canada
Think of me and then tell me what you see
When you wake at early dawn and watch the first sun's light rise over Kansas City
Think of me and tell me what you see
When you wish you could share the world as you make it wherever you are
Remember my lighthouse
Whose door will always be open
To a kind man whose kisses
Were and are damn near all a woman could ever really need.

I will live vicariously
Packed in your bag
Alongside your artwork and slides,
My dreams to roam the world
With wild abandon
Not forgotton
Just, for a time, set aside.

Underground Woman

She walks through the crowded train station
Her gaze straight ahead
A small smile on her swollen lips
The dull pain in her back and thighs a delicious reminder for tomorrow
The mark of his teeth on her neck hidden behind her hair
The sound of movement, sighs
Still echoing in her ears like the strains of a tune that she does not want to forget
Her legs hardly able to carry her
Giddy, throbbing
Yet she feels stronger than ever
Could lift a car with one arm
If she felt so inclined, but why bother
When all she really wants to do
Is replay the movement of his hands, his mouth
Everything
In her mind's eye.

And men follow her with their eyes
Which is something they sometimes do
For she is lovely in her own way
But tonight almost every man who passes
Notices something worth a second glance
Men, women, even couples see it,
Some assume she is drugged, no doubt
The small satisifed grin that plays on her lips
Taken for a less natural intoxication
For she is in another world that she has made from delights of this one
Feral strength and relaxed sense of self
The scent of sex cloaks her, like perfume
The heat of recent passion and release ripples off of her skin
Like a tangible echo of the screams she cried just an hour ago.

What is it that marks a newly made woman?
Her libidinous nature coming out to play
Like a child in the night
The crowds parting for this lovely lady
And her languid state,
Letting a creature by
That now knows no bounds.

He Who I'll Never Have (I)

Who is this?
I haven’t seen you for a long time.
I missed you and didn’t know it;
Perhaps it’s seeing you in your
Entirety, or perhaps its seeing you
For the first time.
Yes, I think that’s it;
I have never seen you like this,
With these eyes,
The eyes of a woman,
And not a little girl,
Or even a young teenage vixen.
I remember you,
Those pants, black
Tight in their jeans
Globes of male and thick cock
I wish I could make up for lost time
That I even forgot I had
But I forgot to make a list of those things
That I most want to do, possess, and go to,
And it would have included you, my dear.
I can’t look you in the face
I blush like a young girl that I am
An average prostitute innocence
A delighted young girl who loves to fuck.

You excite me
As I excite myself
And I continue to live in delusion.