Especially This Time of Year

Holidays
seem sad to me
fleeting
you turn around
and they're here again
cold
you're older
someone has died since the last one
you're still alone
someone may die before the next one
every year, there is a memory.

Music plays quietly
wrapping gifts by oneself
drinking
singing dirty carols
drunken shouts at Jimmy Stewart
to go ahead and jump
could give a damn
if Clarence saves him or not.

The magic faded
grown up and now bitter
Toys-R-Us
makes you smile
wish it was for you
dream of staying up late waiting
for Santa and reindeer
and the oblivious nature
of that which should be childhood.

Racing to buy
buying to please
Anyone
who will listen to a broken heart
can't hear it above the
static on the intercom
there's a sale in aisle nine
fought fifty women
trampled like the old man
in the 80's, killed for a
cabbage patch doll.

I buy a tree
a simple thing
lights
burn away shadows
make a lighter room
more colorful
for which to cry in
scents of pine
mixed with wine
my pets gather 'round me
protective paw
whiskers wipe a tear away.